Hi there! I'm Sam! Nice to meet you! Now that introductions are out of the way, feel free to enjoy my blog!
If I make a joke in the middle of the woods and no one’s around to hear it, is it still funny?
Of course it is, I’m damn hilarious
It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.
I am so, so proud of you.
When kids ask me what its like to be an adult, I will show them this post. Thank you.
f is for friends who do stuff without you
u is for uninvited
c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten
k is for krispy kreme yum
this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like
one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me
DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA
I’m going to make a youtube video entitled
"Shit ALL men say”
and it will consist only of the phrase “But not all men say that~!!”
And then I’ll wait for men to stare at their keyboards in utter distress as they contemplate the paradox of their intense desire and desperation to inform me that not all men say that.
I will break them.